Socratic In Nature

And when that terrible thing comes to pass, how will *you* react?

Earlier tonight, someone texted me a whole line of questions when I was having problems dealing with, well, life.

My friend asked me a fairly simple, and yet completely complicated question, "How do you want to be loved?"

To which I replied, "Openly and honestly."

Then I was asked, "What gets in the way?"

"People."

"That's too defeatist an answer and too general. Why can't people love openly and honestly? Whats between the desire and the action or the commitment?"

My response was (of course), "People are too evil. They are far too evil to love openly and honestly. They'd rather hurt people to get ahead."

"What does hurting other people get them? What do they stand to gain by hurting other people as opposed to loving them openly and honestly? Better yet, what do they stand to lose by loving openly and honestly?"

All these questions, I could not answer for the life of me. I was too far gone emotionally and had no mental capability of clear, rational logic to sort it out. Instead, I decided to write it all down, and come back to it later, when I am not so jaded. In fact, posting it here might be a greater option. Hopefully I will be able to generate a response from these questions in aiding my mental state.

Catching Up, (Not All Zombies Run)

After a brief stint in the E.R. I am recovering slowly but surely from only what I can guess was food poisoning. Within the past few weeks, I have been to a number of blog-able events, which I have not found the time to write about. So instead of writing a blog for each event, I decided to just give the highlights of each in just one blog.

Harry Potter Day.

Pace sponsored "Harry Potter Day" which consisted of a screening of the lastest Harry Potter film (free snacks), free dinner at a nearby restaurant, and then a discussion. The discussion was headed by published authors of works such as "Harry Potter and Imagination" and "Hog's Head Conversations" (Travis Prinzi), "Repotting Harry Potter" (James Thomas), and "Harry Potter's Bookshelf" (John Granger). These books all consist of critiquing and analyzing Harry Potter and the series but one thing is certain, J.K Rowling is a brilliant writer. Her writing is superb and really encapsulating. Her obvious influences including the famous (and beloved) Jane Austen, who's writing style broke ground by writing from the main character's perspective but uses third person tenses. I was able to actually talk to one of the authors, Travis, who gave me advice for publishing my own book, among other things. All in all, the experience was greatly appreciated, (this is why I'm basically slicing off my left leg in payment for tuition at Pace.) Meeting authors!! (If you have not caught on yet, I love books and YES, I am a book whore. Therefore, authors get me hot like no other.)

Alice In Wonderland

Many of my friends have been bashing the film, I was lucky to be one of the first to see it (Thank you midnight showing at Battery Park) so I am able to sit back and watch everyone react differently towards it. There are arguments for almost everything for Alice, even the title! "It should have been entitled *Return To Wonderland!*" If that was the case,

1.) Many people would be confused

2.) Many people might be discouraged from coming

3.) Ruins watching and experiencing it for the first time

4.) Alice was still, technically *in* Wonderland, so it is not wrong

So, to answer the bigger question, Yes I thoroughly enjoyed Alice in Wonderland. If you have seen any or all of Tim Burton films, you will know, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory being the most recent example, that he likes to expand things as well as distort them to a creepier degree. In addition, if you have no knowledge of Lewis Carroll (you know, the guy who WROTE Alice in Wonderland), he was a weird frigging dude. I mean, he had a little girl fetish..he was fucked up. So it is no surprise to me that Burton would want to expand on the cute little Disney number so many of my peers are accustomed to and make it darker. In my opinion, if you have any shred of intelligence, you will not recognize this as a bad thing. Besides all this, sitting in my first 3-D experience with a gigantic, let me repeat that, GIGANTIC icee, makes any viewing event infinitely better, in my opinion. Maybe all the people who are taking the film too seriously need to grab a gigantic icee, get the stick out of their ass before they sit down, and try to view the movie open - mindedly.

GLAAD Media Awards

I was able to work the awards by a fabulous oppurtunity, brought on to me by my very good friend Karlene, who works at the Center for Community Action and Research here at Pace. I wasn't too excited at first, but once I found out Alan Cumming was hosting... I freaked out. Alan Cumming (for those of you who are not too sure) is one of the greatest actors of our generation, he has acted in many mainstream movies, shows, etc. But I would like to acknowledge his smaller works, which in my opinion, are far more superior to his mainstream works. His work in Threepenny Opera gives my soul goosebumps every time I watch it on Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=AzB6Pfjemo&playnext_from=TL&videos=1rPDD7Xf0n4&playnext=1

He revolutionized the role of the Emcee in Cabaret, his work in that show in particular, influenced me a great deal when I worked the show as a Kit Kat Girl. I also, loved loved loved his Ecstasy Condom commercial with Rickki Lake, Reefer Madness (sexy goat), and Masterpiece Mystery with PBS. PBS, by the way, happens to be one of my favorite channels due to the heavy amount of British influence, (BBC, Sitcoms, etc) as well as the whole cultural exponent PBS offers so tangibly, which makes it so popular. Overall, I was extremely pleased to meet him and even got two pictures with him! However, my meeting him does not deter from the various other people I met that night. Joy Behar, Mereidith Veira, Sigourney Weaver, Bryan Batt, Nole Marin, the little boy from CNN who refused to pledge allegiance, Cynthia Nixon, and most importantly, Elke Kennedy. I actually was able to talk to her, where I thanked her for coming out and telling her story, an important one at that. Her son Sean, was murdered one day for being gay. This happens alot more than we would like to admit. It is a terrible, terrible crime that needs to stop. So many people are blinded by their hatred and ignorance, they do not comprehend that gay people bleed too.

On that note, I would like to take this time to apologize for my lazy posts and promise once again, that once I have the time and the health, I will keep you interests up by posting more frequent and relevant posts. Not to say that events that go on in my life do not pertain to "Life and Times of Half-Formed Zombie." In fact, they have a great deal of influence on my blog and I. It's "Half-Formed"for a reason. I only have half zombie posts and half human posts. We'll see though.

Muse, 3/5/2010 at Madison Square Garden

Going to my first Muse concert was more exhilarating and breath taking than I could have imagined. Although I had to suffer the pain associated with waiting, i also had to endure the lameness of the opening act. The Silversun Pickups are a band that I probably would not have minded listening to on an given occasion, however, given the fact that they are an opening act there was already some premeditated affiliation with boredom. All this was well, well worth the wait. With my deepest conviction, I can honestly say that Muse has to be one of the all time best bands ever. That is a bit presumptuous, I know, yet Muse has many factors contributing to their massive success, especially to me.

1.) Exclusivity. The exclusivity that Muse has always generally exuded, by their suave and catchy, (but meaningful) music shows that Muse's music catches quicker to more intellectually stimulated minds than un-stimulated minds (stupid people). Im not ruling out that stupid people can not enjoy their music, nor am I suggesting that they are not able to eventually grasp the complicated concepts that Muse dishes out. My point is that Muse has the edge that is not exactly main stream (even though some would argue that in late of "The Resistance" they are quickly becoming more mainstream then ever). In order to really hold the raw power that Muse is handing to the listener (in way of their music) you need to be more intellectually inclined.

2.) Instruments. With Matthew Bellamy alone, you have the faculty of a wide vocal range (falsetto, etc), guitar, keytar, piano, etc. The accessibility to instruments that the three members possess is truly incredible, and yet they can easily intertwine almost all of them in one song. As "The Resistance" exemplifies, they have a beautiful command of various musical elements which makes it all the better for any band, in my opinion.

3.) Allegory. As I mentioned earlier, Muse has a vice for more intellectually stimulated minds, however, the double meanings to their songs in retrospect can be both easily accessible and terribly confusing. Take for instance the title track, "The Resistance." A person could interpret it in a variety of ways. For one, you have the lovers' perspective. Two, you have the government perspective. Or, one might even say it is a plight for both. Or none. However you may take it, the imagery and sheer grace of the lyrics, by themselves, are awe-inspiring.

4.) Hype. With any band that comes along, there is always an element of hype. Your friend Jake, let you borrow his cd or something and now you like it because A) It's catchy. B) You want to be cool like Jake. OR C) You don't have a life.

Whatever the reason is, not specifically in your immediate case, but with the general public, there is always going to be an element of hype. Whether it is biased or not, you will probably like them. Remember that society sets its standards and what not... which is why we (may) listen to Muse because it is WE who need to set our own standards.

5.) Sexy. Along with hype, people in bands are sexy. So we would be crazy if we didn't like them.. Right? (This is the point where I interject how incredibly sexy Matthew Bellamy is because his voice gets me every time, and when he plays that piano...Oh dear god.) But Matthew Bellamy IS incredibly sexy, otherwise he would not be dating a model, right? Right. (PS. Please stop dating her Matthew, I would be more then happy to take her place.)

I could go on and on, but I think I (hopefully )made my point that Muse is a great band. I have never witnessed a band with chemistry that great (riffs were amazing) and with such incredible stamina. They played for TWO HOURS STRAIGHT. How can you not marvel at that?

From A Higher View

We all find ourselves at times, staring off into space and completely void of any reality apart from the extreme but soft focus at a particular point. We all find ourselves in a negligent state of being, the place where nothing exists, nothing is real. How do we get to that point? What drives us there? Is it just human nature?

What defines us as humans (apart from the obvious)? Is it our emotion?

A key ingredient, one might believe. I can assure you, it is. I would have to believe that our consciousness is the determining factor in order to refer to one’s self as human. So is that it?

I suppose so.

However, what could we do to get rid of this fact? What could we do to get rid of our consciousness? One doesn’t turn it off on will, despite how much a poor soul would like to, so must we grunt and moan and bear it all?

Therein lies the key.

(Philosophical Zombie)